Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Slimming World Sadness

I just wanted to write something quick this evening, because today's been a bit of an ordeal, but I wanted to mark it in some way.

On a Wednesday evening, I attend a Slimming World group in Frome. I first attended this time last year, and tonight I lost 2lbs and achieved my 2stone award. It's all a bit incredible for me, because whilst the weight loss is clearly important, over the little while, the weight loss has also become one of the least important things about attending my group.

For me, the incredible thing has been that when I started attending this group, as I'd walked over, I'd thought to myself 'they're all going to know I'm nuts, and they're all going to think I'm fat'. That's because I was in a much different position than I am now. When I first went to Helen's group, my Wednesday evening appointment was the only time I really left the house other than to see my therapist. It was, for a time, the one thing that I looked forward to, because just for an hour or so, I could sit there and worry about other people's problems rather than the problems inside my own head. Oddly, I loved that I could worry about how many Syns were in Snackajacks and whether I could use Ryvita Crackers as a Healthy Extra, rather than whether I was getting better or whether I'd be depressed forever.

Bit by bit, over the weeks, Slimming World for me has been a process of putting myself back together and, happily, realising that there was a bit less of me to put back together each week. That's why this week was really hard, because it was the last session taken by my consultant Helen. Helen is fantastic. She's run three groups a week for five years, and I'm absolutely never worried about attending meetings because I know that whatever happens, she'll have my back. I've had gains and I've had losses but I've always known that Helen will be happy to see me whatever happens. At times, that's been crucial. Why? Because beneath all of the Syns and Superfree Foods, we all have worries and troubles and we all need escape. I think for so many people, Slimming Clubs provide that opportunity to just sit and chat. At group, I'm not a recently-resigned politician. I don't have Cllr before my name. I'm just 'Our Sam' and I can't tell you how much that means to me.

Helen's going to be moving on to incredibly exciting things, and I know that if she puts even a fraction of the heart into her future ventures as she has my group, then she'll be a roaring success. We'll have a new consultant next week and I'm sure that she'll be fantastic, but I can't pretend that I'm not sad that it won't be Helen welcoming me on Wednesday. In fact, earlier on I blubbed quite unashamedly in front of our group, because it is sad, and because we will all miss her, and because we are all so grateful for her help.

So to anybody who's ever smirked at the idea of Syns and B Options, or Points Values, you're missing the point entirely. For me, Slimming World has helped me find who I am again, and Helen's been a massive part of that, but more than anything it's about friendship. Helen's a friend of mine, as are so many people in my group, and for that, I'm more grateful than words can express.

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